A Friendship Issue

Hi friend,

As the spectacle of the Sean “Diddy” Combs trial unfolds, and news outlets report the lurid details beat-by-beat, online sleuths have been digging through past interviews and TV clips for potential evidence of the music moguls’ crimes hidden in plain sight.

In particular, there has been a lot of attention paid to comments from the talk show host Wendy Williams — and she did make many over the years. Williams, currently under guardianship and in a memory care facility, is coincidentally the subject of a trashy new documentary – Trapped: What’s Happening to Wendy Williams – which will debut on E.T. Monday night and then will stream on HBO Max. As she said recently of the trial, “As far as Diddy, Diddy will go to prison for life, people. You don’t know things that I do about Diddy back in the day. And you wanna know what? It’s about time, people. It is about time. Diddy done.”

It’s easy to see the evidence in retrospect, but was it obvious? We read this Vanity Fair cover story on Combs by the extremely smart Tressie McMillan Cottom that came out in 2021 for a temp check. And boy, does it seems like it was written a lifetime ago. Consider this section on #MeToo:

“Combs sees #MeToo as a qualified sign of progress and evidence that celebrities can change the world,” she says. She quotes him as saying, “‘The #MeToo movement, the truth, is that it inspired me. It showed me that you can get maximum change.’”

Well then. This trial is expected to go on for eight weeks, which is…impossibly long considering what we’ve already heard over the past few days.

For a bit of distraction, we have a essay about what really happens to friendships post-divorce. That’s below, plus a few more fun things for your weekend.

Bye,
Your friends at Gloria

I knew my divorce would change just about everything in my life, but I didn’t expect the fallout to cut so deep. It felt like a second heartbreak. 

I was 37 when I left last June — a mother, a writer, living in Albany, New York. It’s the kind of place where everyone knows your business, or thinks they do. I’d been with my husband for over a decade, married for six of those years. We met at the bar I worked at during grad school, and most of our social circle came from that world — restaurant owners, bartenders, servers, and the regulars whose generosity kept our pockets full. Even after I traded late nights behind the bar for early mornings at a desk job in the Governor’s office, I still believed those people were mine. That they’d be in my corner no matter how much I changed.

I expected a few awkward conversations, and that I’d slowly drift away from some of the people I’d surrounded myself with for over a decade. But I wasn’t prepared for the gossip, which began the moment people heard I left my husband — the blatant slander and rumors that felt ripped straight out of a high school cafeteria. I quickly learned who was "Team Him," as if the end of my marriage was a game with sides to choose.

“You know Sarah. She got a new therapist.” That’s what one friend said my husband was telling people when they confronted him about the news, like that explained everything. As if Meaghan had hypnotized me into leaving. But she didn’t tell me to go. She helped me realize I could. That I didn’t have to keep quieting my fears or shrinking my needs just to hold my marriage together.

“Out again, huh?” another critic said to me one night in a judgmental tone. Like grabbing a drink with friends was some kind of crime. Like trying to fill the quiet hours when my son was with his father was something to be ashamed of. I was just learning how to be alone, but even that made people uncomfortable.

And then there was the “friend” who tried to play neutral, telling me the only thing that truly mattered was that we figured things out for our son. As if that wasn’t already the driving force behind every hard decision I’d made. As if I needed a reminder to prioritize him. He said our friends were confused and I had put them in awkward positions, like being a decent human and checking in required some kind of complex performance. But their discomfort wasn’t my responsibility. Their confusion was not my problem. And the positions they found themselves in? They did that to themselves. 

I’d spent years with these people celebrating weddings and babies, sharing vacations, navigating life. They didn’t just slip away. They made their exit known. They tore me apart from a distance, crafting narratives about my life without asking to hear mine. It felt like my relationship and its ending had been turned into a spectacle for them to dissect.

And then it hit me: they weren’t actually my people. They were only interested in the version of me that served them — the one who was complacent, self-sacrificing, and struggling in silence. The one who didn’t make them uneasy with her honesty. 

I’ve wondered if divorce makes people uncomfortable because it holds up a mirror. Maybe seeing someone walk away makes them question their own relationship.

TO STREAM Two lighthearted distractions are kicking off on streaming. First, there is the return of renovation mogul Joanna Gaines with a new series, Mini Reni (it’ll tackle smaller-scale design overhauls). Then, on Monday, Stanley Tucci will be traveling around Italy in Tucci In Italy (on Disney+). There will be thick glasses, slim-fitting turtlenecks, and lots of pasta.

TO TRY We love OneSkin's skincare products, which reduce visible signs of aging like crepiness thanks to the inclusion of their patented peptide – the OS-01 Senescence Blocking Peptide™ – which helps to clear aging cells and support skin health. Their products make a noticeable difference! Try the products here and get 15 percent off your first purchase with code GLORIA. #partner

TO LISTEN In 1982, a man was found hung from a bridge in London. Named Roberto Calvi, he had helped the Vatican move money around the world. In the new podcast series Shadow Kingdom: God’s Banker, lawyer Nicolo Majnoni explores Calvi’s story with the help of former White House reporter Mario Platero, trying to discern who was responsible for his demise.

TO WATCH Patricia Clarkson plays the part of Lilly Ledbetter in Lilly, a biopic about a very important milestone for women that we’ve seen little-to-no press about. It’s in theaters.

“AirBnB is in midlife crisis mode.” • Everything you need to know about iron deficiency, and how to get your levels checked. • About being in the closet, and coming out. • Trying a mommy-and-me wellness retreat.

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