An Uncomfortable Situation

Hi friend,

We know someone who has an enormous at-a-glance wall calendar where they plot out all their family’s activities. They are the type of person who always has plans on a Friday and is never taken aback when a holiday creeps up on them.

Not so over here. Despite the fact that we’re writing this down right now, we guarantee that we’ll be surprised by how fast Mother’s Day (May 11), Memorial Day (May 26), and Father’s Day (June 15) appear. We also know that, despite our complete awareness that its occurrence is imminent, we’ll soon forget that Monday is the Met Gala, aka fashion’s Super Bowl. We just have a lot going on.

The Met Gala’s theme this year is Superfine: Tailoring Black Style, aka Black dandyism. Expect to see lots of excellent suits, as well as plenty of celebrities straight-up ignoring the theme because they’d rather wear a pretty gown. The boldface names that are almost certain to walk the carpet include LeBron James, Colman Domingo, Lewis Hamilton, A$AP Rocky, and Pharrell (all co-chairs) as well as Ayo Edebiri, Doechii, Janelle Monáe, Sha’Carri Richardson, Simone Biles, Usher, and Regina King (all on Vogue’s host committee). We also expect to see Sarah Jessica Parker, who has been a Met Gala regular over the years and takes this all extremely seriously.

It’s easy to be critical of an event like the Met Gala, given its ostentatiousness and the steep price tag associated with attending (per the New York Times, individual tickets start at $75,000). But after reading this story about the theme, we’re actually excited for this year’s fashion parade, which will start around dinnertime at 5:30pm ET.  

It’s a fantasy. For reality, scroll on — we have a feature this week about women and incontinence. Plus a few fun things for your weekend.

Bye,
Your friends at Gloria

When Alannah, 54, laughed too hard at a friend's dinner party, she quietly excused herself to the restroom. Again.

For millions of women like her, urinary incontinence isn't just an inconvenience, it's a daily reality that affects everything from exercise routines to social lives. However, the "inevitable" leakage that touches up to 45 percent of women over 40 isn't actually inevitable at all.

"I started limiting things I loved to do because I was always leaking," Alannah said. "I gave up dancing, started wearing dark pants everywhere, started wearing pads all the time, and kept wipes and clean underwear in my purse. It was ruling my life."

What Alannah didn't know, and what many women don't realize, is that urinary incontinence isn't a life sentence or simply "part of getting older." It's a treatable condition with more solutions than ever before.

The Silent Epidemic

Recent medical data reveal a startling statistic: More than 60 percent of women in the United States experience some form of urinary incontinence. Yet fewer than half ever discuss it with their healthcare providers.

Specialists across the country are trying to change this culture of silence. At City of Hope Orange County, Dr. Seth A. Cohen, a urologic surgeon and urogynecologist, emphasizes that women shouldn't suffer in isolation.

"There are a number of safe and effective treatment options to help reduce the burden of UI and improve your quality of life," he says.

Dr. Adam Hare, Assistant Professor of Urogynecology at OU Health University of Oklahoma Medical Center, frequently encounters women who have been told, or have told themselves, that incontinence is inevitable.

"I often hear women who think urinary incontinence is a 'normal part of aging' and 'something I've learned to live with,'" he said. "My message is simple. This is a common problem but should never be considered 'normal' and is not something that you have to live with."

This distinction between "common" and "normal" is a crucial one that Dr. Lopa Pandya, Assistant Professor in Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Illinois in Chicago, also emphasizes.

"It's common, not normal," she said firmly. "The fact that we've just told women to normalize this isn't fair."

For Christine from Oklahoma City, incontinence meant a dangerous habit of limiting fluids. 

"I was 24 when I had my son. It started with little leaks when I would sneeze or stand," she said. "I stopped going out to events like concerts or anywhere I would have trouble getting to a bathroom. I stopped hydrating the way I should, so I would get dehydrated."

There’s also a cost associated with managing these symptoms. The adult incontinence product industry has ballooned to over $7 billion annually in the United States alone, with the average woman spending approximately $900 per year on pads and protective garments.

The Types of Incontinence

One reason treatment options remain underdiscussed is confusion about the different types of incontinence. Dr. Hare provides a clear explanation:

"The main types are stress urinary incontinence, which is leakage of urine triggered by sneezing, coughing, exercise, or movement. The other is urgency urinary incontinence, which is urinary accidents when you have a strong urge to rush to the bathroom and cannot make it on time."

Dr. Pandya uses more relatable language.

"Urgency-related incontinence is that gotta-go-gotta-go, can't-make-it feeling. Or that 'I got to my house and hit the garage door button, but still didn't make it' feeling."

Many women experience both types simultaneously, a condition called mixed incontinence, which is the most common presentation. Understanding which symptoms predominate helps determine the best treatment approach.

Lifestyle Modifications

Before exploring medical interventions, doctors recommend several lifestyle modifications that can significantly reduce symptoms.

"We usually discuss monitoring fluid consumption in women with urinary incontinence so they are not consuming too much fluid, usually this is limited to two to three liters of fluid per day," Dr. Hare said. "Practicing 'timed voiding' can also decrease the amount of leakage episodes."

Dr. Pandya adds that certain dietary choices can make a significant difference; caffeine and carbonation can worsen overactive bladder symptoms. Weight loss can also be effective, though she acknowledges it's "easy to say, hard to do."

Non-Surgical Innovations

Specialized Physical Therapy

Pelvic floor physical therapy has evolved significantly in recent years, becoming far more sophisticated than basic Kegel exercises. This specialized therapy strengthens the pelvic floor muscles that support the bladder.

"For women with stress urinary incontinence, restrengthening the pelvic floor muscles can reduce the amount of bothersome leakage," Dr. Hare said. "We usually have women work with a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist specializing in this treatment."

These specialists use biofeedback devices, targeted exercises, and sometimes electrical stimulation.

Pessaries and Insertable Devices

"We offer pessaries (insertable devices) as a non-surgical option," said Dr. Pandya. "I always say there are surgical options and non-surgical options, and it's up to the patient to decide which they want."

Beyond the traditional pessary rings, newer options include tampon-like disposable devices designed specifically for incontinence. The FDA-approved Impressa device, for example, supports the urethra to prevent leakage during activities.

TO STREAM Tina Fey’s new comedy series The Four Seasons (on Netflix) is about three couples, all longtime friends, who vacation together. The series is an homage to the 1981 Alan Alda-Carol Burnett classic of the same name, FYI.

TO DRINK This refreshing seltzer is our favorite way to relax, unwind, and treat ourselves. It offers a mellow, social buzz courtesy of THC and CBD (you can choose 2.5mg, 5mg or 10mg) with 0 calories and 0 sugar. We like it over ice. You can pick up a variety pack here, and get $15 off with the code GLORIA15. #partner 

TO SHOP We didn’t leap at the first Gap x Dôen collab, mostly because the designer brand is easy to pick up at those prices on the secondhand market. But! They are launching a second collaborative collection today at noon and there are a few pieces we’re curious about. Specifically, this cute top.

TO LISTEN Amy Poehler has been making the rounds on podcasts to promote her new podcast, and we enjoyed her recent conversation with Las Culturistas. She really gets into it re: aging, and it’s comical to hear her explain bone-density scans to these guys.

TO TRY If you're stuck in neutral (or reverse) on your weight-loss journey, take this survey to get moving again — without calorie counting or medication. The method is a clinically proven weight-loss tool that has helped millions of people lose millions of pounds**, using tools such as habit tracking, intermittent fasting schedules, and personalized coaching. Sign up today, and receive 50 percent off. #partner

TO CHECK OUT Related to this week’s feature: Hanky Panky, the brand we’ll always associate with super-soft, stretchy lace thongs, now has a line of leakproof undies. All the credit to them for creating styles that are cute and look much like their other undies.

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“A dog lived on the streets until residents at a senior home rescued him.” • A preview of Jo Piazza’s upcoming tradwife murder mystery. • Ways to protect kids from online pornography. • Revisiting the Kim Kardashian jewelry heist as the case finally goes to trial.

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