It's Basic, But It's Great

Hi friend,

One might ask: What is the point of the ongoing conversation about how overwhelmingly stressed parents are, given that women have been writing about this for years and the same problems persist? (Sorry for the pessimism.) A recent announcement by the U.S. Surgeon General – that many parents are so stressed that “they cannot function” – has brought the issue back into the spotlight, though.

Somehow, the culprit for this stress is also parents, according to the New York Times. How convenient. The article does quote one academic who offers a slightly different perspective, one we appreciated. As Kirsten Swinth, a professor at Fordham, argues, “‘We’re crushing parents under an enormous burden, for the benefit of society, and we’re sort of free-riding’ on them.” She’s referring to the fact most institutions in the U.S. are still set up as if each family has a stay-at-home parent, allowing for holes that parents are expected to fill. This is clear to most, but becomes exceedingly so when you enter parenthood and have to figure out how to handle school days that end in the early afternoon and the entirety of summer break while also keeping your job.

Speaking of parenting, this week’s feature story is about a solo parenting travel discovery: the cruise. Read on for that, plus our recommendations for your weekend, and more.

Bye,

Your friends at Gloria

Last fall break, I discovered that cruises are the ideal vacation for parents who are traveling solo with their kids. Yes, taking a cruise is so very basic — and not something any of my LA or NY friends would ever do — but sometimes it’s worth sacrificing cool points for ease. Most importantly, the kids had the time of their short lives. 

When cruising with my three young children (ages 6, 8, and 10) from Miami to the Bahamas, I welcomed the convenience of not dealing with rental cars and hotels. Being outnumbered, there’s also safety in knowing that my kids couldn’t get too lost on a boat. My two eldest loved having the independence to go off on their own — to the arcade or wherever — and I felt comfortable with this so long as they stayed together. 

The first thing to do onboard is to acquaint yourself with your room, which takes four seconds. Each cabin is tiny, unless you have baller status. But, on the bright side, the small confines provide the ultimate bonding experience for your family. It’s the closest I’ll come to camping. In any event, it is definitely worth springing for the balcony. Every morning, I enjoyed my coffee while overlooking the sea, letting the heavy glass door seal off the sounds of Mr. Beast and Minecraft. 

The ultimate highlight for me, though, was giving my kids the opportunity to meet and interact with a huge swath of people at one time. Being on a cruise is like watching your Facebook feed come to life. Or the vacation equivalent of taking the Manhattan 6 train from 86th to 14th. From stem to stern, you’ll meet people from all walks of life: biker dudes, sunny retirees, honeymooners, Canadians, you name it. 

And everyone is happy to be there, living the cruising lifestyle. Though I had boasted my ability to pack our family of four into one carry-on — hold your applause — devoted cruisers showed up in droves donning extensive “cruise wear” wardrobes. Color coordinated sets, cultural garb, seemingly infinite outfit changes on tap for every event, portable fans, and, of course, Hawaiian shirts in every shade of the rainbow. These cruisers are eager to share their inside knowledge on how to make the most of the trip; for example, where to get the best french fries or virgin piña coladas. 

While there are many different dining options aboard, you’ll definitely want to opt for the formal dinner. We were assigned to a table with some cruisers from Australia, which was a thrill to us because they sounded like Bluey’s family. Every night provided a chance for me to coach my children on table manners, pushing their attention spans to the brink, while slowly confiscating the 32 utensils that accompany each place setting. This level of Olympic parenting paid off after a few nights when they were able to engage in conversation with our tablemates long enough to learn about dingos and Vegemite. 

Otherwise, here is a road map of conversation you can expect to have every 15 minutes during the first two days of your trip: Where are you from? How many cruises have you been on? What excursions are you doing today? By day three, the close quarters and jam-packed days make for more interesting dialogue. This diverse group of fun-loving, adventurous people with zero modesty when it comes to bathing suits provided the foundation for easygoing friendships that come with communal living. If you have a curious nature, you can learn a lot about life in other parts of the world.

Or you can just post up with your family by the soft-serve machine and watch the belly-flop contest by yourselves. They didn’t call our ship Freedom of the Seas for nothing. As with any vacation, you can determine how social you want to be and what works best for your family. Traveling solo with kids does not have to be as stressful as it sounds because, unlike life at home, it requires little scheduling. There’s no need to plan activities on a cruise or worry about what to make for dinner, since it’s all taken care of for you. Plus, you don’t have to do laundry. It’s never felt so good to be uncool. 

This clothing rental service is a lifesaver during this transition from summer to fall. It means we always have something cute and appropriate to wear (like this cozy cashmere sweater, or this pretty silk blouse), and they’re constantly adding new brands and styles, so there’s lots to choose from. Give it a try, and get up to 50 percent off your first month, with the code GLORIA. #partner

TO STREAM In the new Netflix film His Three Daughters, three very different sisters (played by Natasha Lyonne, Carrie Coon, and Elizabeth Olsen) come together in a cramped NYC apartment to care for their dying father and try to work through personal grievances. It’s very well done, and so realistic that it might be a bit of a tough watch if you have recently gone through something similar.

TO GET Once you accept you need readers to do almost everything, you can look on the bright side: There are so many available now, like our favorites from Caddis. They’ve basically reinvented the accessory; we swear their frames make every outfit look a little better. Get 20 percent off with code GLORIA20. #partner

TO EXPLORE If you are interested in new music, but don’t really know where to start when it comes to finding stuff you’d like, this edition of New Music for Old Heads is a good place. There is a lot of great music in here!

TO WATCH New film The Substance (in theaters now) is being described as a gross-out horror flick slash feminist critique of aging standards. There’s a emphasis throughout on the physical contrast between Demi Moore’s physique and a younger version of herself (played by Margaret Qualley) that emerges thanks to an injectable drug.

TO TRY We like the idea of getting more use out of an older bag by fitting it with a new strap, like this colorful paracord one. Cute, right?

TO LISTEN It’s truly mind-blowing that Ashli Babbitt’s mother moved to D.C. and became neighbors with reporters from The Atlantic, but it’s true. Their new podcast, We Live Here Now, is all about January 6th and what it was like to talk to this woman, who is still immersed in conspiracy theories and militias. It sounds very bad to be her neighbor, and the value of befriending her is…unclear thus far, but it does make for fascinating listening.

A doctor is successfully using metformin off-label to treat alopecia. • Press-on nails are good now. • A refresher on Brad Pitt, in light of his big new movie. • Menopause healthcare startup Midi Health just raised $5 million dollars.

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