Is Everyone Struggling With Friendship?

Hi friends,

Forget about the self-help books and advice columns: When it comes to maintaining friendships, apparently we all just need life to be easier. 

That was one of the (surprising, for some reason) observations from this Atlantic story about friendships as adults. Like the fact that older millennials ages 35 to 44 have fewer minutes of leisure time per day now than similarly aged adults did 20 years ago. Or how education-slash-economic class affects things. “Although everyone these days is pressed for time and less likely to be civically involved,” they report, “college graduates have greater access to public libraries, parks, coffee shops, and other ‘third places’ than people without college degrees do, and people who had more access to these kinds of spaces — a.k.a. wealthier people — also tended to have more friends.”

Finding new friends requires you to be a bit vulnerable. That’s clear from this heartwarming piece by a 37-year-old man on finding connection in a spin class. And we like this simple strategy for maintaining and deepening friendships – that is, of course, if you have the time and energy to pull it off. 

We have more friendship-focused recommendations for you, below, plus a roundup of beautiful fall bags. See you back here on Friday.

— Your friends at Gloria

We aren’t ready for wool sweaters or coats just yet, but we are eyeing fall bags. Classic, clean-lined shapes in rich shades dominate, but we also love the boho-ish suede ones and the more maximalist versions with studs or grommets. Below, 14 compelling bags, from tiny cross-body styles to polished work totes.

• A kind of silly, but fun, party bag. Poppy Lissiman Spice Sac, $175.

• Ridiculously impractical, but we love it. Loeffler Randall Charlee Shoulder Bag, $295.

• High-quality leather for a somewhat reasonable price. Portland Leather Goods Nora Shoulder Bag, $132. 

• A beautiful (and huge) option that’s already popular with fashion-industry types. Coach Brooklyn Bag, $495.

• Designed to outlive the trend cycles. Marlow Goods Mini Britten Bag, $172.

• Very elegant, from the colors to the shape to the hardware. Cuyana Celestia Shoulder Bag, $398. 

• This petite style works as a cross-body or a clutch. Theory Shoulder Box Bag, $177.

• There’s just so much to like about this polished bag, including the fact that it fits a laptop. J.Crew Edie Bucket Bag, $268. 

• Love the leather and the strap. Sessun Niu Nano Bag, $334.

• This patent one is gorgeous. Sezane The Tote, $390. 

• This brand makes lots of minimal, architectural bags (and they all seem to be on sale at the moment). Aesther Ekme Midi Sac Bag, $252.

• An easy, slouchy shape in nice leather. Banana Republic Mini Slouch Bag, $130.

• We’ve wanted one of these cute little suede buckets for years. Ann Mashburn Paola Bucket Bag, $275. 

• The bright red makes this small flap bag really pop. Rouje Bibi Bag, $295.

Shop the Story

The philosophy of beauty brand Iris & Romeo really speaks to us. They are all about a simple, streamlined, less-is-more approach. Each of their products starts as skincare, but with added color pigments, meaning you get effective serum-strength formulas with built-in coverage.

We have three favorites: the Best Skin Days SPF 30, which goes on as easy as a moisturizer, and hydrates while protecting skin and evening out skin tone and texture; The Reset, a moisturizing hyaluronic spray we use throughout the day, and the Ceramide Multi-balm Lip+Cheek Cream Blush Stick, a creamy formula that adds a little brightness and warmth back to our cheeks and lips. 

Check out all their products online, or in your local Sephora, where they just launched nationwide. #partner

TO WATCH The new documentary/buddy comedy Will & Harper – about Will Ferrell’s road trip with his close friend from their SNL days, Harper Steele, who came out to Ferrell two years ago as trans – looks wonderful. Moving, funny, real, and depending on the location/setting/people around them, tense and scary (you can read their interview about the project in the Times here). It’s in select theaters Friday, and streaming on Netflix later this month.

TO TRY This clothing-rental service is a lifesaver during this transition from summer to fall. It means we always have something cute and appropriate to wear, and they’re constantly adding new brands and styles, so there’s lots to choose from. Give it a try, and get up to 50 percent off your first month, with the code GLORIA. #partner 

TO PLAY It’s embarrassing how much we enjoyed this little color quiz (found via Gossamer’s newsletter). Apparently, our “boundary” between the colors blue and green is “bluer than 75% of the population” What about you?

TO READ If you are a fan of writer Elizabeth Strout (of cantankerous Olive Kitteridge fame), you should know that the novelist is out today with a new book. Tell Me Everything (Amazon, Bookshop) finds her returning to the state of Maine and a cast of familiar characters, but revolves this time around friendships and a murder investigation.

TO LISTEN This episode of Ezra Klein’s podcast with the writer Jia Tolentino, on screens and raising kids, was thought-provoking. Tune in for an analysis of Cocomelon, how kids’ brains actually resemble adult brains on psychedelics, and why we want to look at our phones when we know we need to be present. 

“Parents are stressed!” • The reporting on vaginal-rejuvenation laser treatments we didn’t know we needed. • This piece on “moms signaling compliance” is embarrassingly relatable. • On quitting Xanax. • A picture of a “childless cat lady inexplicably enjoying life.”

_{*Gloria may receive an affiliate commission on purchases made through our newsletter.}