Motivation Enclosed

Hi friend,

“Anecdotally, almost every woman my age is experiencing her own come-to-Jesus moment,” writes Sara Peterson in an essay about her midlife crisis. “Whether it’s sexual, romantic, or work-related, we’re all looking at our remaining years and asking ourselves how we can (IF we can) taste any sort of thrill, adrenaline, surprise, or awakening now that so many big milestones have been experienced.”

Maybe that means blowing up your life entirely, but maybe it’s less dramatic: a new wardrobe, a new haircut, or…a new hobby.

Cup of Jo’s Kaitlyn Teer says her midlife thrill is mountain biking, which she started after having kids. (The discussion comes via a podcast, and she begins talking about it around the 14-minute mark.) Part of the appeal was how it made her push herself “to the physical limit in a way that felt like it was for me.” It also gave her a reason to go outside, meet up with friends, and connect with her body. It wasn’t about optimizing anything, or multitasking, or being in service to someone else. For once, it was something she was doing just for herself.

This sounds simple, but can be weirdly hard. Getting into a new hobby that forces you to carve out time (and sometimes, spend money) can feel “selfish,” as dumb as that is, especially at this phase in life.

This all leads us to this week’s Gloria feature, which is a love letter to surfing from a woman who started in her 50s. Read on for that, plus recommendations for your weekend.

Bye,

Your friends at Gloria

I arrive at the beach just as my surf instructor, Jordy, pulls up on his motorcycle. It’s 5:30 a.m, still dark outside, and I can see the moon and stars above the water. I wax my board as Jordy and I look at the waves. The beach is a three-mile stretch of soft white sand and for now, before dawn, it is completely ours.

We paddle out past the white water to the break and Jordy motions for me to sit on my board. We are the only people in the water, which is so unbelievably rare that it feels unreal. I am nervous and my heart is racing. Jordy is joyful, as usual, and just when I think I will have a moment to calm myself, he says to get ready because I’m about to catch the best wave of my life.

It’s shoulder high and breaking right. I’m still learning to read waves, but even I can understand that this one looks perfect. I turn my board towards shore and lay down, and Jordy helps me paddle into it. As I pop up, he says, “Enjoy it.” Then I’m on my way, gliding across the water, with the sun rising over the trees in the distance. Time feels immeasurable, like both a lifetime and a few seconds at once.

I ride the wave all the way to the shore, screaming aloud with happiness to no one but myself. I hop off the board, jump up and down, smiling and waving to my coach, then paddle back out to him as he pumps his hands in the air and cheers.

Surfing, for me, is not always this magical. As a 51-year-old woman learning a new sport, it can be difficult and even scary. On more than a few occasions, I’ve had panic attacks and paddled back to shore. Also, I should add, no one has ever mistaken me for talented. But at this stage of my life, I give very few shits as to what people think of my surfing style. This is the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. The sport has also introduced me to a whole new world of female friends, many of whom I met on a week-long surf retreat in Costa Rica a few years ago. 

It was hard for me to decide to go on the trip. I found myself asking if I “deserved” the time away from my husband and son, especially since I was only a beginner surfer. I wondered about investing in a new hobby at my age. Once I got over the guilt of choosing time for myself, I then worried that I was not a strong enough surfer to attend. I knew the waves in Santa Teresa could get big, but trusted in the “All Levels Welcome” messaging from the hosts. I signed up, pleasantly surprised that a friend from New York wanted to join me. 

It proved to be inspiring and exciting. I improved my surfing and made new friends,  many of whom I still talk to on a regular basis. And I am happy to report that I am not imagining the benefits of learning surfing – or any sport – as an adult. Science backs me up.

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TO STREAM This Sunday brings the premiere of the third, and final, season of the critically acclaimed comfort watch Somebody Somewhere on HBO. If you’re in the mood for a funny romp, the new British series Rivals (now streaming on Hulu) is making waves thanks to its vigorous sex scenes and depictions of the too-muchness of ‘80s TV-industry culture. And for scary vibes, there’s Before, a thriller starring Billy Crystal as a child psychiatrist attempting to help a troubled young boy (on Apple TV).

TO TRY This clothing-rental service is a lifesaver during the busy fall months. It means we always have something cute and appropriate to wear, and they’re constantly adding new brands and styles, so there’s lots to choose from. Give it a try, and get up to 50 percent off your first month, with the code GLORIA. #partner

TO LISTEN This 2021 episode of the NPR podcast Throughline about the origins of Halloween is informative and entertaining. If it makes you curious about what a “ghost turnip” (the precursor to a jack o’lantern) looked like, this TikTok has a visual.

TO TREAT YOURSELF Last year, we ran an ad for a cookie company named Leckerlee that specializes in a German holiday treat called lebkuchen. Of course, we had ordered our own tin, and we delighted in them. They’re made of almond flour and paste; spiced with cinnamon, clove, and ginger; and are soft and chewy in this really satisfying way that’s hard to describe. Since they’re a small operation, the cookies can take a while to ship out; if you’re interested in obtaining them for the holidays, now’s the time.

Searching for answers after an early osteoporosis diagnosis (lots of important info in here). • How certain issues like endo, early menopause, and pre-term birth can drive up women’s stroke risk (more info about this in our interview with a cardiologist). • Good luck: “Trying to get mom and dad out of Florida.” • Stop the Insanity'!’s Susan Powter’s life has certainly been filled with twists and turns. • An ode to Microsoft Paint.

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