Necessary Friction?

Hi friend,

We’re almost a week into January, so by now you have certainly changed your entire life for the better. You’re a morning person, effortlessly rising before the sun to journal or whatever. You’re emotionally stable. You respond quickly — and normally — to texts and work emails. You’ve developed an impressive weight-lifting routine (plus yoga), and you’ve stopped excessively Googling people whose lives you’re jealous of. You’ve also already read three books. Not performatively, but rather out of a genuine love of literature. It’s a testament to your robust focus and attention span, which is unblemished while everyone else’s is clearly rotted. Somehow, you’re both more productive and more present than ever.

You, clearly, are in no need of a new New Year’s resolution. But if you were looking for ideas, this argument for embracing the friction of life is persuasive. As Kathryn Jezer-Morton says, “an orientation toward friction is really the only defense we have against the life-annihilating suction of technologies of escape…Maybe this is an opportunity to think more clearly than we ever have about what is interesting and essential about being human.”

Friction is one way of putting it. Another would be “labor.” Perhaps it’s time for a pendulum swing towards the realization that labor is not just an inescapable part of being human, it’s also an important counterweight to ease. And that too much of either category isn’t great for us.

KJM’s examples of friction include rawdogging boredom; withstanding children’s laments for distractions; inviting people over to your messy house; and eliminating ChatGPT (“No, it does not have good ideas for meal planning. Buy a cookbook. Text your friends for advice. Go to Trader Joe’s. Come on.”)

Having people over is so much work. Children…it goes without saying. Even a pet adds a lot to your plate. And yet: These are the things that make our lives fuller. No wonder so many discussions about gender politics are about who is doing what labor. A full life takes work.

Bye,
Your friends at Gloria

It’s unclear why, but over the past month we’ve run out of (or were forced to part ways with) a large portion of the basics we rely on every day. We’re talking about hardworking beauty essentials, like an effective-yet-untrendy nighttime moisturizer, plus the made-for-babies washcloths we took for ourselves, extremely comfy underwear, and a sneaker we wore into the ground. Those, and more items we love enough to repurchase, below.

• Both substantial and lightweight, gives a nice glowy finish, and helps to even skin tone. Iris & Romeo Weekend Skin, $50.

• This soft cotton underwear is comfy, but still sexy. Natori Bliss French-Cut 3 Pack, $54.

• This plus a serum has completely de-frizzed our hair. Saltair Leave-In Conditioner, $13.

• The scent of this luxe shampoo-conditioner duo reminds us of a fancy spa. Necessaire Rosemary Hair Duo, $60 (10 percent off with code GLORIA10).

• This cotton sweatshirt constantly gets complements. It’s got a cool fit (it hits perfectly at the hip) and because it’s affordable, we fret less about stains. Old Navy Oversized Raglan Sweatshirt, $25.79.

• This essential oil-based cleaner comes as a concentrate that you dilute. This is probably a bad business model, because one bottle lasts forever. The scents are excellent. Saint Olio Neroli Cleaner, $24.

• Tired of fighting over our one pair of wired earpods after the non-wired ones were destroyed in the laundry, we finally ordered another pair. Apple Wired Earpods, $19.

• This concentrated dish soap is an affordable, earth-friendly alt for the plastic bottles at the store (the beeswax container can go right into the compost). Etee Plastic-Free Liquid Dish Soap Concentrate, $19.

• You have never smelled anything as good as this. Pro-tip: When applying, mix a bit of it with regular, unscented moisturizer to make it last longer. Jao Goē Oil, $54.

• Yes, it’s a men’s roll-on deodorant from Spain, which feels random. But if appalling things are happening to you odorifically, you also might want to give it a try. We like the lemon-y scent and how it doesn’t mess up shirts, plus it really works for us. Agua de Colonia Deodorant, $9.98.

• Rub this on your hands (specifically your cuticles) at night. It’s also a cure-all for dry elbows, knees, you name it. Palmer’s Cocoa Butter, $7.49.

• This product was gifted to us when we worked for an influencer years ago, and our original bottle just ran out. It’s easy to smooth on and is natural-looking. Drunk Elephant D-Bronzi Bronzing Drops, $39.

• A simple sneaker that holds up better than other brands. Asics Gel-1130, $100.

• Effective, reasonably priced, and works for sensitive skin. Cerave AM Face Moisturizer, $19.79.

• Chewing a “healthy” gum made of sap goes exactly how you’d expect. But apparently other gums release microplastics while being chewed. So we adapt. Simply Gum Variety Pack, $18.

• These little muslin clothes were originally purchased for an actual baby. But we found we liked using them better than regular washcloths. Muslin Washcloths, $16.

• A 100% cotton sports bra is hard to find. Since this is a small brand, they do sell out quickly, though. Oddobody Shelf Bra, $40.60.

• This leave-in leaves hair shiny and bouncy (though it’s hard to get the last bits out of the pretty glass jar it comes in). Roz Milk Hair Serum, $52.

• For dry faces only: This is really thick and works just as well as the ultra-$$$$ options. Weleda Plumping Night Cream, $27.

• Powerfully protective, appealingly lightweight, and does not clog even the most sensitive skin. Dune The Mug Guard Sunscreen, $27.95 (15 percent off with code GLORIA15).

• We like to have a tube of this in our coat pocket at all times. St. Claire’s Natúrals Jelly Lip Balm, $6.

Shop the Story

January doesn’t have to mean a full reset. But: We would like dinner to be easier. That’s why BistroMD is genius. It delivers fully prepared, chef-made meals that can go straight from the freezer to your table in minutes. No planning, no prep, and no cleanup.

You choose a program based on your goals and preferences — including Signature, Heart-healthy, and Menopause support — then select from a large weekly menu of dietitian-designed breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. Portions are consistent, nutrition is handled, and the food is genuinely good. And plans are flexible, meaning you can adjust or pause as needed. If dinner is a daily source of friction, this removes a lot of it. They’re offering 50% and free shipping on your first week. Check out all the options here. #partner

TO WATCH Tessa Thompson and Jon Bernthal play a couple investigating a murder (each suspiciously) in the new Netflix thriller His & Hers. It’s out Thursday, which is also the day that The Pitt returns for its already well-reviewed second season on HBO.

TO SHOP This doctor-recommended, multi-shape vibrator is designed to hit all the right spots. Reach your personal nirvana with its award-winning design, customizable settings, and sublime sensations. Get 35 percent off, plus an extra 15 percent with code H4PPY15. Shop it here. #partner

TO COOK This beef chow ho fun noodle recipe was a little complicated, but turned out delicious. If you can’t find the rice noodles fresh, dried will work too.

TO TRY This app is helping us build better habits. Simple Life skips restrictive rules and all-or-nothing thinking in favor of a more realistic approach. You take a quick quiz and get a plan tailored to you — plus a dose of gentle accountability along the way. It’s surprisingly doable, and already helping millions of people make lasting changes. Try it here. #partner

TO LISTEN Now here are some 2026 predictions that aren’t terrifying. Switched on Pop’s hosts shared what they think could be coming up in the world of pop music, and their first pitch is the return of ‘90s-era UK genre “big beat” like The Prodigy, Fatboy Slim, or The Chemical Brothers. Interesting!

“Letter from a billionaire stranded on St. Barths.” • How to take better care of your sweaters. • Reading about how SF’s gay bars launched a new era of disco – while listening to that music – is a fun experience. • Explaining the latest study on hormone therapy and dementia. • An official RIP to the old Instagram.

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