The Money Convo Worth Having

Hi friend,

Improbably, it is still January. And we’ve been so distracted and discombobulated by the news that we haven’t felt up to setting any New Year’s resolutions. We were ready to declare them passé – after all, who’s got the time and energy? – until we came across this GQ essay where writer P.E. Moskowitz explains how a resolution to stop using apps like DoorDash has changed his life.

“Few of these apps even existed 15 years ago,” he says. “The vociferousness with which people defend them when we lived lives without them not that long ago is proof of a kind of Stockholm Syndrome…Sometimes, I miss being nearly comatose on the couch and letting everything in the world come to me. It was so cushy. Going out of the house when it’s freezing or raining isn’t always fun.

But that’s another thing I’ve learned: you can’t have it both ways. You have to decide what’s important to you — convenience and comfort, or agency.”

As one tech writer puts it, our future is “too easy,” and “buffing all human friction” from our days is not doing us any favors. (That article is free if you sign up, and worth it if you are in the mood for a long rant about AI. Not everyone is!)

All this reminded us of the The Cut essay titled “Let TikTok Die!” Similar to how a long vacation can make you realize you hate your job, “The temporary shutdown invited an uncomfortable period of introspection, as I thought back on the many hours of my one wild and precious life I’d spent scrolling my way to oblivion,” writes Shannon Keating. As The Atlantic’s Derek Thompson puts it in a conversation with NPR’s Tonya Mosley, we are all “donating our dopamine to our phones rather than reserving our dopamine for our friends.” No wonder we’re left feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

Passively consuming video clips and hot takes from a thousand ignoramuses is not the best way to get your news. Particularly now. When tragic events like fires and plane crashes occur, a lot of know-nothings who think their voice needs to be heard are drowning out real experts.

Speaking of feeling overwhelmed, this week’s feature is a first-hand account about negotiating down massive amounts of medical debt. Read on for that, plus: a silly new movie, a comfort recipe we love, and more.

Bye,
Your friends at Gloria

In late March of 2024, I woke up with a persistent ache in my upper torso that I immediately recognized as a biliary colic. I had been dealing with those symptoms since January and was stubbornly waiting to go to Peru, my home country, to finally get my gallbladder removed. Being hospitalized in the United States was one of my biggest fears — and that fear was purely financial. 

According to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, about 100 million Americans owe over $220 billion in medical debt. Even if you are insured, medical debt can still be an issue thanks to high deductibles, co-pays, and other costs that insurance companies pass on to patients. Plus, it is estimated that insurers deny between 10 to 20 percent of claims and they are rarely forthcoming about their reasoning. 

I was already in a precarious state when it came to money. My freelance work was drying up. I lived in New York City, one of the most expensive cities in the world. After years of job losses and several moves, I had accrued an embarrassing amount of credit card debt. I had health insurance thanks to the Affordable Care Act, but my cheap plan came with a pricey deductible and co-pays. I did not have the kind of money to deal with any emergency, let alone a medical one. 

Unfortunately, my body did not care one bit about my carefully calculated plan. I was admitted to the hospital for a near-fatal case of pancreatitis due to gallstones. I spent a week in the hospital before undergoing surgery and then a week in the ICU because of a rare surgical complication. When I was finally released with a clean bill of health, I figured the other bill coming my way would wipe out every penny I had. A fear I shared with everyone I knew. However several people reached out to tell me they were able to significantly reduce their payments or have them outright forgiven. 

I was under the false impression that hospitals only offered medical assistance in extreme cases. In fact, “Hospitals are legally required to write off or reduce your bills if you meet the income requirements that they decide,” says Jared Walker, founder and Executive Director of Dollar For, a nonprofit that helps patients access hospital charity care. “Every three years, the hospitals do something called a community needs assessment. They find out what's the average income and cost of living in the area and decide how generous their policy is going to be. There is no taking from somebody less fortunate. They decide the policy.” 

If I hadn’t opened my big mouth about the financial crisis my medical crisis was about to unleash, I would have never found out about my options. There’s no one way to manage this kind of debt — policies and resources can vary from state to state or even hospital to hospital. However, being your own advocate is a must. Here’s what I learned from doing just that.

1.  Make sure you have the right bill 

The hospital spent months tallying up costs and sending claims to the insurance company, often adjusting the amount I was supposed to pay. Even when payment due dates were fast approaching, I decided not to pay until the flurry of activity stopped and I had a clear idea of what I owed. Though letting bills lapse may sound reckless, unpaid medical bills can no longer impact your credit report and hospitals cannot legally send bills to collection until 120 days after they sent you your bill. 

You also want to check your statement is accurate by requesting an itemized bill. Having one on hand allows you to check the Current Procedural Terminology (or CPT) codes of your claim on websites like the Healthcare Bluebook to make sure the procedures listed match your experience. You can also use a service like Goodbill to see if there are any additional charges to contest or errors. “Just asking for one can lower the bill,” says Walker. “They put bogus charges or upcharge you for things, which they’ll take out in an itemized bill.” 

2. Check if you are eligible for financial assistance 

When I first called the hospital about my situation, I learned I could request a hardship review. This entailed writing a letter explaining my financial situation and compiling every single bill I had into a PDF. The rep instructed me to add everything I paid for, even items like Netflix and credit card bills. Other hospitals might require a tax return or three month’s worth of paystubs. 

In the hardship letter, I described my financial duress and how my prolonged stay in the hospital caused me to lose freelance projects and billing hours. I felt I made a strong case, but don’t worry about the literary merits of the letter. “They really are just trying to get an idea of your financial situation,” says Walker. “Letting them know if you just lost your job or if you just had another child — just giving them a full understanding of your financial situation and the hardship that the bill is causing.”

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TO STREAM The new Will Ferrell-Reese Witherspoon wedding comedy You’re Cordially Invited on Prime Video is not going to win any awards (in the trailer, Ferrell wrestles an obviously fake alligator, among other things), but it does look silly and watchable. Also watchable: Scamanda, a new docuseries on Hulu based upon the true-crime podcast of the same name. It’s about a woman who told everyone that she had blood cancer — but it was all a grift.

TO GIFT These are the prettiest, and tastiest, chocolates for Valentine’s Day. The assorted box, filled with luxe fresh cream truffles, is made by hand in San Francisco. (Even the box is edible, which is extra cool). Order them here. #partner

TO LISTEN Speaking of scammers and grifters, BBC podcast The Con is out with a new series, Kaitlyn’s Baby. It is the unhinged story of a Canadian woman who lied to more than 50 doulas about being pregnant. 

TO MAKE This sheet-pan lasagna was our first time making a Giada De Laurentiis recipe, and it was over-the-top delicious (even if made with less cheese). Instead of layering, you mix up noodles and a meat sauce, spread it on a baking sheet, then top with dollops of chopped, cooked spinach and ricotta. It’s easy, and you end up with lots of crispy edges.

TO TRY Halle Berry’s go-to probiotic — which she says helps her energy levels, too — is now available for all of us. It contains multiple strains for gut health, including some that are difficult to find in off-the-shelf options. Gloria readers can click here to give it a try and get 20 percent off. #partner

A love letter to the recipe website Smitten Kitchen, and cute home DIYS from designer Jessie Randall of Loeffler Randall. • Lorne Michaels has changed his tune on Sinéad O’Connor’s SNL appearance. • Conservative influencer Candace Owens is launching a women’s media brand. • Peoples’ passports – and their ability to travel outside the country – are in limbo thanks to an executive order about gender.

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